The echo of your words

As a child you are bound to have done it: shouting loudly in the mountains, under a long bridge or in a cave. How funny it was to hear your voice bounce back! Although your shout was already over, the echo of your words went on reverberating for a while. The echo arises because the sound waves bounce back off hard walls.

Imagine: a man struggles to enter into long-term relationships. He does not really understand why. What he does know is that after the war his great-grandfather lived in exile. That man could never return to his family. The old pain and loss bounce back like echoes through the family line, invisible but tangible. The man, however, does not recognise the connection with his great-grandfather as such.

The role of constellation work

Echoes from the past are often hard to fathom. You experience the consequences, but the origin remains hidden. That is because the echoes are located at a deeper, unconscious level. So you can go on searching for a long time without really finding.

Fortunately, systemic work in the form of constellations offers a way to investigate this. Instead of looking at the problem close up, you zoom out. You put down the larger frame. You place yourself and your family members or situations in a constellation. It is a process of sensing and perceiving. You see your own family system moving in front of you like a tableau vivant. This helps to make dynamics you did not see before both visible and tangible.

A young woman often felt excluded in social situations. She lost more and more confidence and withdrew. During a constellation it turned out that her mother had been orphaned as a child and received no support from her family. Her mother’s loneliness and exclusion resounded like an echo in the young woman’s life.

The importance of acknowledgement

When we hear the echo of our own voice ringing out, we listen to it and find it amusing. There is an acknowledgement of the words we have just launched into the air. But when it comes to the echoes from the past that express themselves in the difficulties cropping up in our lives, we do have a tendency to look away. Sometimes we do so for years. But the echoes are like nagging children. If we ignore them, they start whining even more. If we give them the right attention, they settle down and can go back to playing and laughing. So the echoes are asking to be seen and acknowledged. Then you find a new balance as a person, and even your family system will experience more peace.

A middle-aged woman often felt she was being treated unfairly. Despite all the personal work she did, that feeling kept haunting her. In a constellation it became clear that her grandfather had been forced to give up part of the land he owned unjustly. By facing this loss and acknowledging the pain, the woman felt a burden slide off her shoulders.

Individual and collective effect

Echoes from the past influence not only the individual, but the group as well. Think of historical traumas caused by wars, forced migration, famines, environmental disasters, slavery or industrialisation. That pain remains tangible for generations, usually without our being aware of it.

A man always felt guilty without being able to find any identifiable reason for it. He recognised the sense of guilt in his parents and his brothers as well. In a constellation he was able to look for the first time at how his family had been seen as collaborators after the Second World War. This collective guilt, carried by the community and by his family, had lodged itself in him unconsciously. By facing the trauma, he could finally let the burden go.

The process of letting go

Constellations make the echoes from the past visible. It brings relief to be able to behold the burden you carry within the span of time. It is a far-reaching experience at an energetic level, not merely an understanding in the mind. It gives a deeper insight into the old pattern, which can then be released more easily because the origin of the feeling has been given a place in history. Relief, gladness, calm, balance and renewed energy are effects of a constellation. You are given the possibility of making conscious choices again

One participant always cared for others, both at home and at work. She was praised for her helpfulness, but in the end she became exhausted. During a constellation she saw how her grandmother, who lost her husband at a young age, had to care for ten children and the farm on her own. Her grandmother had sacrificed her own needs for her family. By seeing and recognising this pattern, she was able to find a better balance between caring for others and caring for herself.

Your echoes

Are you carrying echoes from the past with you? Would you like to explore these echoes and find more balance? During our constellation days you get the chance to discover the underlying patterns in your life and to bring them to rest. Discover the healing power of constellations and widen your view of your family history.

Hilde Van Bulck
Consciousness architect, Systemic constellation facilitator and advisor
Ambassador and Director for Constellations and Education at Constellators International.