Why was my 60th birthday so different from all the others?

In recent years I paid little attention to my birthday and even less to a party. I recently turned 60. This time it was different. Back in the autumn of 2020 I had already sent out invitations for the day I would be celebrating. I felt that I wanted to be surrounded by what is meaningful to me.

My birthday was on 23 May. Traditionally it is a day of fine weather. I had every confidence in that. And what I had expected became reality. In the middle of days of pouring rain, that one day glowed with sunshine, admittedly with a brisk but not unpleasant breeze.

‘Why is this birthday so different from the others?’ I asked myself. I have no idea what it is like for others my age, but to me it feels as if a line has been drawn. Because of the events of the past months, I feel a clear dividing line between my past and the life that now lies open before me.

Without exaggerating I can say that over the years I have ended up in some fierce situations. Situations that shattered me and my picture of the world the way a rollercoaster is flung off its track. I needed some time to understand what was happening, to recover from it and to lick my wounds.

But now, in 2021, I feel the rewards for my efforts and for the sustained work of growing in consciousness coming towards me in abundance. Everywhere I am harvesting the fruits of a new kind of life that is revealing itself. The stories, a number of which carried a solid dose of drama, have come to rest. They have been told to the end. They are clear. They no longer ask for attention. I made peace with the protagonists of my stories long ago. They no longer ask for attention. I accept this in gratitude.

When I look back over the shoulders of my sixty-year-old life, I can still see how many times my life hung by a thread. But that no longer seems important. What does matter is that I have learned how to survive difficult situations, what it takes to step into your life energy again and again. The quality of my life has not gone downhill because of it. It has risen. And not only in terms of society’s standards. Inwardly I have climbed the highest mountains. I can only be grateful.

The wonderful thing about these 60 years is that I have been allowed to reach this age at all. Not everyone is given that. That alone is an enormous gift. Do you see the value of it? Does society see the priceless value of the resilience people have to spring back upright time and again? I can only be grateful.

A line under my past. Do you understand what I mean by that? Past situations no longer exert any pressure. Living in the NOW, being present and staying present, is therefore much easier than it ever was. One unexpected result that I had not foreseen straight away is that I no longer have to do anything. There is not a single obligation left. I no longer have to prove anything to anyone, least of all to myself. I no longer have to perform. I may simply BE and be SIMPLY myself on the great playing field of life. I am so grateful.

When I had corona a few months ago, I felt the transformation. I was invited to rest. To insert a pause between my previous way of living and the way that is now unfolding. Being ill was my inner cleaning lady at work. A speck of dust here, a speck of dust there. Leftover frayed threads from my stories disappeared along with the viral infection. My body felt purified and strengthened in softening. The transformation has visibly, tangibly and audibly been set in motion. I am so grateful.

When my 87-year-old father decided in March to do a constellation about his own family system, the floodgates opened completely. The traumas of our remarkable family history, which had governed our lives, turned out to have been transformed into a stream of love flowing abundantly through the various generations. I was allowed to see my own liberation from it confirmed in this constellation. My life’s purpose, ‘spreading light and love’, showed itself unmistakably and was in full motion. This day was special not only for me, but for everyone present who took part in the visible and tangible high vibrational level of this intimate event. Important for the course participants who were there. A message of hope and encouragement that sustained effort leads to letting go, to rewards, freedom, flow, connection, radiance, cooperation, love, light… Anyone with knowledge and experience of family constellations knows that, after giving me life, my father could not have offered me a greater gift than bringing his own system into a new order. I feel his gratitude, I see his greater aliveness, a wider presence, his awakened interest in the light in his life. Which feeling would fit best here? I am grateful.

Years ago I promised myself that at 60 I would be healthier, suppler and more mobile than I was at, say, 25. Whether it was achievable or not made for an exciting contest. I very nearly thought I had failed. My body carries the traces of the unguided missiles that my stories were. Spiritual, emotional and mental recovery was easier for me than physical recovery. Or so I thought. But even that turns out to be possible.

Recently my osteopath’s eyes filled with tears of emotion after a treatment she had given me. When I asked her in surprise what was going on, I got this answer: ‘I suddenly see how much effort you have put in over the years to keep your body healthy. I had never seen that before. Now I see it.’ I was moved too by the recognition. Almost no one sees it, but I know it. That is what I have done, in many different ways. It has given me a whole library of usable knowledge that no doctor ever told me about.

My goal is within reach. At my party I showed what my body can do again now that it had not been able to do in recent years. And it keeps evolving. Matter is slower than spirit. And yet my body too is now letting go of what it once gathered to protect itself against the unguided missiles. I am as proud as punch of every small improvement that presents itself. I notice it in my energy and in my drive. In fact I cannot keep quiet about it. I am grateful to my body for the supple cooperation I have so often been allowed to experience.

In 1993 one of the most important events of my life took place. With that line under my past, I no longer know whether it was a year earlier or a year later. ;-) A big bang of the first order, and one that is still expanding. One that changed my life completely. That was when I came into conscious contact with the inflow of the universal streams of consciousness. One of the most brilliant decisions I have ever made was to explore that path and make it my own. It has served me well. Of course that evolution has not been brought to a conclusion. But what I can say is that at 60 I feel the processes of consciousness have come to a pleasant ripeness. And that I go on spreading and carrying them out with fire in my belly. That is where my motivation for life lies, my driving force and my momentum. Always present. Always in love. Ever since the big bang I have always met the right people at the right moment to show me the way into new levels. I can only look at these encounters in gratitude and wonder. They are not the least of people.

For my 60th birthday my children had put together a surprise. They had contacted a great many friends from my near and far surroundings, asking them to share their experience of being in contact with me. That means I was allowed to receive many ‘feel-good messages’ that touched my heart. On top of that I got to read many good wishes here on Facebook. I am grateful for all the beautiful words and lovely little gifts I received. I cherish them deep inside. It filled me with wonder at how many people in how many different contexts I have been allowed to meet so far. Thank you all for playing a smaller or larger role in my life.

Now I look at the coming decade with an open gaze and a playful curiosity. What surprises does life have in store for me? What adventures am I still going to experience? What beautiful people am I still going to meet? In what am I still going to grow? What contribution can I still make? What places am I still going to discover?

So why was this 60th birthday so different from the others? Because I am allowed to witness the most natural processes of life, recognisable to so many, and to see how they translate into a joy for life and for all that is. Well worth going for.

Thank you for reading this far.

Warmly

Hilde Van Bulck

28 May 2021