‘Not now,’ said my father. ‘Not now,’ said my mother. ‘Not now,’ I said to my children. ‘Not now,’ I said to myself. ‘Not now,’ said my managers. ‘Not now,’ say my clients. Not now is almost always followed by ‘I don’t have time.’ If I had kept score of the number of times I have used this argument in my life, I could boast a top score. Yet by not having time, I have already wasted a great deal of precious time. I am not the only one. Somewhere deep down we know it, and still we ignore the importance of time in the now.
‘Someone else made exactly the same suggestion as you did last time and I’m definitely going to do it, but not now. Next year,’ my client said, opening the session.
‘Haven’t you started on it yet?’ I was curious about the result.
‘I do feel like it, but I don’t have time right now. I have other things to do first. My clients and the other things come first. I’ll do it next year. Being creative for myself can wait a little longer.’
I suggested we take a moment to look at what ‘I don’t have time.’ was doing to her, but I ran into resistance. She didn’t want to talk about it. Not now. Later. Attuning to her energy, I sensed that I should not simply let this opportunity slip. By assuring her that I had no intention of persuading her to be creative for herself with her beloved clay, I was able to persuade her to look at the effect of time on her body and emotions.
‘Always take time for the things that make you happy. Don’t wait until the time is exactly right. If you do, you will almost certainly miss the right moment.’
For me, it is a real joy to work with someone who can perceive energetically as well as this client. It is more playing and connecting than working. It is experiencing and truly living it together, and looking forward to a result we cannot know in advance.
‘When you think “I don’t have time”, where do you feel it in your body?’ She pointed to her throat and didn’t say a word. We were off. Now all I had to do was ask questions. The images would surface of their own accord and hold the answers needed for her growth process.
‘What shape does “I don’t have time” take in your throat?’
‘It looks like a stone. A black one.’
‘What kind of stone?’
‘A rocky one.’
‘If you look further, what do you see?’
‘I see glints. There are tiny points of light everywhere.’ She was in good contact with her visual perception. ‘It looks more like anthracite.’
‘Focus on the glints. What happens then?’ She took a moment to perceive.
‘Everything is starting to sparkle. It’s turning into a huge firework display. I’m moved by its beauty.’
‘Keep looking. Breathe it in. Let the fireworks in completely. Let yourself be moved. Take it into yourself.’
‘My whole body is starting to tingle. Oh, I can feel my blood flowing.’ If enthusiasm, wonder and stillness can go hand in hand, then that was the case now.
‘Keep feeling. Stay with the flow of your blood. Keep looking. What is happening now?’
‘Oh, oh, I can’t believe it. I can feel myself living. I’m alive. I’m alive!’
‘What does it do to you when you feel yourself living?’
‘I feel blissful. I am. I am here and now. What an experience.’
It became quieter than quiet. ‘Can’t you speak any more?’ With a wave of her hand in front of her throat, she gestured that she couldn’t. She sat in her chair, glowing and radiant. So did I. Seeing someone arrive in the here and now, in the presence of ‘I am’, is the greatest reward for my work.
‘All the questions I wanted to ask have disappeared,’ she whispered. That is how it goes in the here and now. Most questions become irrelevant. With the beautiful music of Shaina Noll — Resting in the now — we brought the session to a close. I won’t see my client again for a few months. Someone who feels themselves living doesn’t need to come regularly.
‘Smile, breathe and take your time.’ Thich Nhat Hanh
From ‘I don’t have time.’ we had arrived in the stillness of the soul. A field from which other possibilities arise and other decisions are made. I don’t have time is then replaced by the priorities of life. Time Management becomes simple. You step out of zombie mode, in which, day in, day out, you mindlessly carry out unimportant things that take up a lot of your time. From the here and now, Time Management evolves into Attention Management, with attention for the priorities that let you feel the flow of life. Just try it and be amazed at how many unimportant things you can cross off. I don’t have time can then no longer be used as an excuse that you know is really a little white lie.
With Attention Management, the argument of time loses its power. It is not time that is responsible for what you can and cannot get done. The responsibility lies with you and the choices you make. What do you choose? Which choices get priority? Where do you invest your attention?
‘Taking time for yourself is a choice.’
You choose whether or not to get enough sleep. You choose whether or not to eat healthily. You choose whether or not to spend hours watching Netflix. You choose whether or not to meditate. You choose whether or not to love. You choose. Again and again. Just feel how powerful this is. Each time you choose your (life) priorities, you feel your strength and self-confidence grow. Time spent meaningfully leaves you feeling satisfied with yourself. From there, you can make new and powerful choices again. The new year that is approaching is a wonderful opportunity for this, but really, you don’t need to wait that long. You can choose from the NOW.
Hilde Van Bulck
Awareness Architect — Speaker — Author — Systemic constellation facilitator and adviser
AMI Activator — Motivator — Inspirer
www.hildevanbulck.com
