To begin with, a word of thanks is in order. On 5 September, Ms Evi Geysels was a guest on Danira Boukrhriss's new talk show Vandaag on één. She came to speak about the aggression teachers face in the classroom almost every day. It has become a matter of survival. It was very brave of Ms Geysels to speak so frankly about what she and other teachers go through. It was also necessary. Not everyone would dare. And yet she is sending a signal. Don't let her be the only one who speaks up. Let others follow her example. Me too! Not to complain, but to send a clear signal to society and to policymakers. And also to look for solutions and put them into practice. They do exist!
I have been a teacher, a coordinator and a head teacher myself. I have seen aggression and sabotage at every level, and at times I have experienced it first-hand. It doesn't take a fight to knock you down, because words cut deep into the soul. They stay with you. They leave scars that can be slow to heal. Verbal aggression, contempt and belittling take your breath away. They strike at who you are, as if you weren't good enough. In the end you have to make an effort not to believe it yourself. That same evening on the programme, footballers came to talk about the racist remarks they receive. It is the same thing. You are attacked on a level where you cannot defend yourself. It has become an everyday occurrence. Or perhaps it has always been this way, and we simply see far more examples of it now thanks to social media.
It goes without saying — even if you are, at heart, a good teacher — that your resilience wears down when you are regularly subjected to aggression. Your muscles tense up, your breathing becomes shallow, you are on your guard and you react less spontaneously. You sleep less well and your mood suffers, even if you try to keep a brave face. Over time, those arrows of verbal aggression have a deep impact on your health and on your personal life. That does no good to the teaching, or to the pupils.
So things have to change, and they can. Schools will have to change gear to turn the tide, but it is not a matter for the school alone. It is a matter for society as a whole, one in which everyone is involved and from which everyone benefits when something changes.
Why do more and more young people seem to choose the path of verbal aggression, contempt and belittling? Actually, it's simple. Someone who feels comfortable in their own skin has no urge to attack others and bring them down. Someone who is content with themselves wishes the same for others.
Children and young people carry society in with them through the school gates. They are mirrors. Big mirrors, in fact. What they do is reflect. Nothing more, nothing less. Every parent knows this. When you come home in the evening tired and worn out, your children are more likely to play up. When they see you fit and full of energy, and notice that you are a contented person, they are more likely to behave in the same way.
Just look around you. What do you see? How many people have lost touch with themselves? How many people feel cut off, are ill, have burn-out or depression? Look further! What do you see? Everywhere around us we see media that create fear and insecurity: reports of terrorism, attacks, wars, financial crisis, fraud in companies, in our food, in the healthcare sector, examples of intolerance, poverty, political stagnation and a ruined climate. Look further still! What do you see? Great leaders who wage war without batting an eyelid and keep a corrupt system in place, nuclear threats and competition in space. Celebrities and religious figures who abuse others. Look further still! What do you see? An entertainment industry that churns out films brimming with violence and a lack of respect for life. So isn't that simply how the world is? Yes, it is. In part. But the other part exists too. The part where people seek connection, look for solutions to small and global problems, work together and have fun together. People who have deep respect for life, for nature and for their fellow human beings. All of this also exists on a large scale, but we hardly ever see it reflected in the news. What we are shown of the world is badly out of balance.
What does this do to a person's nervous system and state of mind? To their sense of safety, their self-confidence and their self-worth? It all takes a nosedive. The same symptoms return: muscles tense up, breathing falters, and so on… Inside, people are crying out. Will I still have a job? Will I have enough money? Will I stay healthy? If only there won't be a war! Those inner cries of insecurity and fear are picked up by children and young people. They can't really put into words what is going on, but they show it through their aggression, through their humiliating and accusing language. They reflect the imbalance on several levels: with their aggressive reactions they are telling us that they don't feel comfortable in their own skin (1), and they are crying out their despair at the imbalance they see in adults (2), when it is precisely from adults that they expect and need safety in order to grow. What's more, they are showing on a large scale that there is an imbalance at a much greater level: namely the lack of respect for life and justice, and of care for our fellow human beings in society (3), despite the efforts of many to make a contribution. On a large scale, we have lost our connection with ourselves, with our fellow human beings, with nature and with life. And it is precisely these things that make us feel good. We turn our attention outwards instead of inwards.
What Ms Geysels is doing by stepping away from teaching for a few months is turning her gaze inwards. That is a good move. A move from which new insights and a new approach can emerge. More of the same through repression and punishment is not what we really need. Respect for ourselves and for who we are is crucial. The answer lies within.
Ms Geysels is right. The teacher ought to be at the centre. Usually the pupil is put first, which is not the right place. In a school, the teacher needs attention. Urgently. Why? Teachers are a school's greatest asset. Their motivation, knowledge and enthusiasm for working with children and young people grow when they are well looked after. What do teachers need to be able to do their job well? That is a question every school can ask. The answer may differ from school to school, but it certainly has to do with being able to grow as a person, feeling safe, seen and heard at school, and being given the space to truly teach. The teacher being anchored within themselves. It is a subject that doesn't feature in teacher training. And yet it is crucial. The same goes for the pupil. In which subject does the pupil learn to connect with themselves, apart from a few isolated initiatives?
When teachers know how to be in deep contact with themselves, and when they do this together with their colleagues, the teacher gains a different kind of strength. Free and easy breathing, being present in the moment, using your body as an instrument of perception, teaching from the heart and becoming aware of the impact of projections and mirroring are some of the aspects of a deep anchoring that can support teachers and pupils alike in the process of living and learning. You would be amazed at how quickly pupils go along with this. That is mainly because their self-image becomes more positive and their self-worth grows stronger, so that they are no longer willing to do things that harm themselves, and therefore not others either. On top of that, there is the sense — not to be underestimated — that many things can be resolved from within. Surviving in the classroom is then no longer necessary, because you learn to live from conscious presence. More zest for life and more eagerness to learn are the result. Some will be quick to brush these ingredients for a better classroom climate aside, but they work. Every teacher deserves to receive training in this.
It is not a matter for the school alone. Who supports parents in this process? Where do they learn to anchor themselves firmly in life and in their willingness to live? Irrelevant questions? Apparently not. In educational constellations we see that pupils panic when one of their parents is not sufficiently willing to live, or when teachers can no longer see a way forward. This translates into behaviour in the classroom. Withdrawn behaviour, bullying or rebelling against the system can be the result. Why is that? Everyone has a deep longing for respect for life and for its unfolding within themselves. It is our purpose in life, and we go to great lengths for it.
Educational constellations are a method that gives deep insight into the background of what is going wrong in the classroom. It is a method that brings clarity to people's positions in relation to each other and to their motives, in a way that respects the self-worth of every participant. The answers are surprising. They are different from the answers we had come up with for ourselves. In an educational constellation we usually see that the behaviour of aggressive pupils exposes a situation the adults are not seeing. Constellations therefore tend to defuse a situation emotionally (forgive the military term), so that those involved can find calm again and move forward together. Unfortunately, most schools are not yet familiar with this method. Together with learning to be present within yourself, constellations are an indispensable tool for situations like the ones Ms Geysels talked about. A support for teachers, pupils, parents and, not to be forgotten, school management.
Hilde Van Bulck
Author of De eigenwijze kikker — Het geheim van lesgeven en opvoeden.
Systemic constellation facilitator for education
